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a publication centered on life in Mississippi.
Today is July 12, 2020

Editorial

Thoughts and musings

By Michael Callahan

Michael Callahan
Michael Callahan,
Executive Vice President/CEO
EPAs of Mississippi

After two months of sheltering-in-place, I have some thoughts, observations and musings. Please, if you have lost your sense of humor during the pandemic, you may want to stop reading now.

What if I had told you in January that by the end of April eight ounces of hand sanitizer would be worth more than a barrel of oil?

So, the government wants us to stay home, lay on the couch, order take-out and watch television. Finally, four years of college is paying off!

There are many physically fit and attractive people in my neighborhood.

I’m not one of them.

Anyone who puts his or her dog in a stroller and goes for a walk needs professional help.

Cigar smoke is good at keeping away pests — mosquitos, flies, wives and kids.

Is it really exercising if you are drinking wine?

Is making your teenage children walk with mom and dad 21st-century child abuse?

The IRS said that two of my children are worthless and one was worth $500.

My wife is a genius. In less than a month and half, she graduated two college students and one high schooler and NONE OF THEM WERE SENIORS!

All in favor of doubling teacher salaries in August say “Aye,” all opposed, obliviously haven’t been trying to teach children over the last two months.

Just think, teachers have 30 kids and no wine readily available.

The yardman came by for payment. I gave him two rolls of toilet paper.

You can recognize these folks who haven’t ridden bikes in forever. They have bright yellow shirts, shinny new helmets and move down the road like a snake.

Get out of their way!

To single people: if you cannot cook, marry someone who can. It will be important during the next pandemic.

To the $1.2 billion dollars in COVID-19 relief funds from the CARES Act.... In the words of pirate and philosopher Jimmy Buffett, “You got fins to left, fins to right and you’re the only bait in town.”

Dang, I love a good cigar!

There’s a difference between a dog who is joyfully out for a walk with its owner and one who has been dragged out of the house for the third time because one spouse is tired of the other spouse and kids. You can see it in their pleading eyes. The poor dog is thinking, ‘at least the mutt up the street gets a stroller.’

According to Proverbs 17:22, ‘A merry heart doeth good like medicine.’ In other words, laughter can be the best medicine. And sometimes, during the stress of the pandemic, we have to take time to laugh.

The pandemic also reminds us of how fortunate we are to be surrounded by everyday heroes. Thanks to the doctors, nurses, first responders, our electric cooperative employees, truck drivers, grocery store workers and other essential employees who worked tirelessly through these times. You are the reason we enjoy some semblance of a normal life.

And finally, and most importantly, to those who have lost family and friends to the virus: you remain in our thoughts and prayers.

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