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Today is December 6, 2022

Grin 'n' Bare It

Is it really true that women are smarter than men?

Kay Grafe
Kay Grafe

    The truth has finally been verified, confirmed and demonstrated that women have smartened themselves to the point that we’re pulling ahead in the race. Though there’s not a man on Earth who would own up to the statistics that researchers have nailed.
    We must understand this situation. It’s not that all women are more intelligent than all men. Just the majority of us. I’ve only chosen six categories out of 14 that have been scrutinized in comparing the genders. There are more studies on the horizon.
    Just so you’ll know I’m playing on a level race track, I will admit that some women have what I call a “predisposition for making involuntary, impulsive decisions.” Acting out of reflex rather than using their gifted minds.
    I’ll even go so far as to say that they (we) do this more often than men. Therefore, since God created us in His image, our choices are moral, but unlike Him, we tend not to think before we act. More on that later.
    I’ll name six areas where women excel over men:
1. Women are better learners than men. Studies from the University of Georgia found that we are better learners, more attentive and are flexible at expanding our minds.
2. Women are smarter! Researcher James Flynn checked the I.Q. of women from around the world and found that women were on top.
3. Women also graduate from college more than males. Women tend to finish, whereas men
quit more often.
4. Women eat healthier.
5. Women live longer. The recent New England Centenarian Study said women lived from 10 to 15 years longer.
6. Women invest better. Of 100,000 portfolios reviewed, women’s investments had higher returns.  
    I could go on but my favorite husband will probably read this. I’ll have to show him my findings to prove I’m right, then he’ll say, “Research can be manipulated.”
   Then he’ll remind me of just a few of my bad choices in the past week. I was washing my hair and thought the odor was very different. I dried my face and checked the bottle. Oh, my. It was Sugar’s shampoo. Our pup.
    I don’t get a real suntan anymore, not since my insensitive husband began calling me Freckles. On occasion I use a self-tanner. I was out of the tanner I usually wear, so I grabbed another brand when I was shopping. After using it my arms were covered in brown streaks. I scrubbed using soap and cleansing cream. No luck.
    I had an idea. I took a sponge from my Mr. Clean package. You know, those wonderful little pads that take marks off the walls.
    Take my advice. Don’t try this. My arms turned bright red and became as rough as sandpaper. Then they began to hurt like a burn.
    That was two weeks ago. I’m still hiding from the public. And keeping cotton in my ears to repel Mr. Roy’s laughter.
    Ladies, we may be smarter than men, but we must practice not making impulsive decisions.

    Kay Grafe is the author of “Oh My Gosh, Virginia.” To order, send name, address, phone number and $16.95, plus $3.50 S&H to Kay Grafe, 2142 Fig Farm Road, Lucedale, MS 39452.

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